Morning, Boo. Yesterday morning was shit. I slept only six hours (I usually need as much as 12 to feel ok...for reals.) My agoraphobia was out of control and I had a panic attack even though I was on anti-anxiety meds. There is this feeling that my mental health issues can surpass any pill. It's discouraging. I have an extremely serious case of treatment resistant depression and a whole bunch of other things, so honestly, I get used to meds not working. I have been on seriously the majority of psychiatric drugs. I want to make sure people know that my case of mental illness is very hard to treat, but that doesn't mean that is the case for the majority of people with mental health issues. I don't want people to become afraid to get help or to feel discouraged when they read the struggle that I'm in.
If you aren't feeling good mental health wise, even if you haven't been diagnosed, I strongly encourage you to get treatment. Book a counseling session (that's how treatment usually starts), and maybe all you need is for someone to listen to you and help you figure a few things out, or maybe you need more care, it's different for everyone.
I honestly wish I started going to counseling years before I actually started going, but I was so scared. I had to reach my breaking point before I started. I just think about how far I have come and how much counseling has helped me. It's honestly not as scary as it seems or feels like it would be. Television and movies really portray counseling as a weird, sterile, scary situation, and it just totally isn't like that. It's just like meeting a new friend to talk to. So I encourage you to seek help even if you are just struggling with sadness, low mood, or a hard event that happened in your life, etc.
Ok. This post was totally supposed to be about plants. 😂 Yesterday was so rough, but I actually got out with Ronald after my panic attack! That's huge progress for someone with agoraphobia! We got some coffee and went to our local garden center and I bought a succulent. It was so hard to choose as there were so many pretty ones. I love the floral shape of this one and of course I dumped the plastic stake that tells me what it's called. 🙄 I got the plant and white ceramic little planter for under ten bucks. I really don't need more plants, but they always cheer me up! I also finally found a fiddle leaf fig! There were several medium sized ones that looked great, but they are forty bucks. Maybe for Christmas. 🌲 🌱
Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day, dear one. xo
